Reception...

Today, I'm a receptionist.

..seriously.

The following took place in an office reception, somewhere in the heart of Christchurch.

I got a one-day slot manning the phones and e-mails at this place in town while all the staff attend a meeting-type thing. I basically just have to hold the fort until 5pm. I have answered the phone two times in as many hours. I have not brought any food with me. I am hungry. I am alone in the wilderness of post-it notes and fax machines, in-trays and office chairs. Well not really alone, there is a woman on the other side of the room, but she's hiding under her office divider thing. Smart move. Maybe she knows something I don't? I am scared. Even the funny forwarded e-mails that keep popping up in outlook are failing to humour me, maybe because I'm not reading them. Who knows?

There is a kettle on the other side of the room that is tempting me with it's promises of coffee and tea, I've learnt not to trust kettles in New Zealand. The dull hum of this computer is the only thing keeping me sane.

ssshhh...the phone's ringing...



It was a windscreen claim...it was terrifying, I don't want to talk about it. There is a little silver bell here that people ding when they need assistance. I need assistance. Should I ding it? Will they come? The more I look at it the more it looks like a nipple. New Zealand, I didn't know you'd treat me this way. I didn't know I'd end up in this place. I wasn't expecting this. The girl on the other side of the room just left. I think she's escaping while she can...clever...I dinged the bell while I could...it went...DING...and now it's gone back to looking like a nipple. The woman is back and talking about the weather. I think it's a trap.

Sorry...I'm just bored. I should really be on seek looking for a job, but no, I'm pretending to be mental on a blog nobody reads in the middle of the day. Hey, at least I'm getting paid for this! Back to normality now huh...

I nearly bought that amazing Clash photo book yesterday but it was a little pricey...I'm definately getting it when I get a job. It's huge and pink and got loads of photos and rare stuff in it. Awesome. New Zealand's looking beautiful today by the way, and the first signs of spring are popping up all over the place...it won't be long before the lambs take over...

Only three hours to go...I'll stop by once I'm on the other side. It's been a pleasure!

PS. Cheers Tim!

Lights and Sounds

This weekend saw a family members 85th birthday and a good old fashioned Sunday afternoon drinking session out in the sticks. Both were nice 'n wholesome. Good kiwi food (developing a soft spot for bacon and egg pie) and a good few bottles of beer always go down a treat on a sunny weekend. The weekend has been pretty chilled out in that respect, no big nights out in the city, no apocalyptic hangovers to speak of...just mellow.

I forgot to mention the awesome pintsize-haka I saw last week at a mall near town...

These school kids came in and performed a whole load of traditional Maori songs and dances, and they were freaking good. Some of those little fellas have a pretty good roar on them. I've never seen anything like that, not in Eastbourne or Kingston anyway. It was all a pretty enriching experience, that's for sure.

I'm a little stoked with the quality of the butchers over here. I went to one today in this little suburb just down the road and picked up two chicken breasts, a big pack of bacon, two pork chops, and three sausages all for 24 bucks. Thats about 9.60 in quids and pennies...insane! Amazing quality too, huge cuts of meat, and no preservatives or any other chemical-warfare bullsh*t either. Top notch.

I'm not feeling very "bloggy" tonight...a little homesick if I'm honest. I wish I could go home for a couple of nights and come back, it's that complete physical detachment that gets me every now and then. Though I know if I were to return to the motherland I would regret it within about fifteen minutes of touching down...not to mention be suffering from a severe case of - as I like to call it - 'Imissmygirlfriendsomuchicanbarelywalkivitis' - ha.

When we drove back from this Sunday session yesterday I discovered if I turned the flash off on my camera it resulted in some pretty cool effects. I'll leave you with a snap and a pearl of wisdom from Oscar Wilde...

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

The Wild West Coast

When I was here in New Zealand in March, my girlfriend and I went on a roadtrip around the south island. After leaving Christchurch and driving through the mountains, we came out on the west coast and drove all the way down. From this picture, taken at Bruce Bay, it's easy to see why they call it the 'wild west coast'...

Bankrobbing...

I really want to find a link so you can all (all five of you) listen to this song called "Crow River" by The Eastern - the band I saw in the pub the other day - but can't find it anywhere. Instead - I'll leave you with this.

Choptober Links...

http://twitter.com/choptobernz

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=87541820599

http://choptober.co.nz/

http://blog.choptober.com


If anybody wants more info e-mail me at ollie@choptober.com

Should be a laugh...everyone get choppy!

Career Opportunities

Yeah...I used a Clash song for the title of another post...I just can't get enough of them at the moment. I think reading that biography has re-ignited my love for them. Been watching a load of interviews with them on youtube (including one with a very young looking yet instantly recognisable Janet Street Porter) Every journo asked them about their politics, about their content, about their beliefs and attitudes - and they always seemed to not have a clue what they were talking about. Being that their songs are so succinct and directed and honest, it seems a bit weird that they always seemed so shy to talk about their beliefs on camera?

In an interview with Tom Snyder in '81, they're playing with a teddy bear and stickers and pulling stupid faces. Snyder keeps having to 'tell them off' almost. Pretty funny. I think they all knew what they were about, but didn't feel it was the media's right to know what they were about, kind of like The Pistols. Mick Jones said in the interview "We don't want to poo poo on the fans" which I think serves as a pretty good example of what I'm trying to get at...simple...stripped down...but with a f*cking good backbone to them. This video speaks for itself really.



Enough about The Clash. There was a crazy storm last night, I don't think I've ever heard rain or wind like that before. It's good though. When the weather kicks up a fuss like that it kind of reminds you you're alive. That you shouldn't take yourself too seriously...because there are forces out there alot more powerful than you.

I've managed to get some unpaid work for The Choptober Foundation. It was conceived by the same Kiwi guys that were behind Movember. Basically...the idea is that everyone grows lambchops (sideburns) in October, and raise money for charities whilst doing it. My role in the crew is to look after and maintain all their websites, blogs, and social networking accounts. I'll also hopefully be doing "press release" kind of stuff...getting them known amongst the media and trying to get them coverage. Cool huh!? I'm pretty stoked about it. Unpaid but damn good experience...that's all I care about...also think I've managed to get myself a job at a coffee shop down the road. Just got back from an interview and the guy said he'd call me in the next few days to let me know when he can fit me in...cashback...I need an income.

I'll be in touch...

Lost In the Supermarket

High spirits are on the menu today. Job prospects haven't really moved on since my last post...still waiting to hear back from a couple places, but I'm hopeful. In the meantime, I may have managed to snag myself some unpaid writing-related type work that, with a bit of luck, might eventually turn into paid writing-related type work. I'm just grateful for any experience I can get at the moment.

I just bought the whole of The Clash's back catalogue for 7 english pounds...bonus. Heard 'Coma Girl' by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros on the radio this morning and it gave me the itch to put my download hat on. I'm gutted beyond words at the death of my laptop. There was so much music on there...

The mountains surrounding Christchurch are looking especially magnificent this morning, like giant jagged marshmallows on the horizon. The sky has responded by vowing not to be outdone by the mountains and has covered us with a vibrant shade of blue that you'll only ever see in New Zealand.

I'm itching to buy a skateboard...I just want to cruuuuise. I miss it. I'm slowly getting the idea that skateboarding over here is seen as 'childish' by alot of adults, but snowboarding is ok? Did I miss something?

I get lost in supermarkets most times I go in them. I never used to in the UK, but here I just can't seem to logically figure out where things are in relation to other things. Which is weird, because most of the time they'll be in a pretty similar place as items in UK supermarkets. I get a littled excited and overwhelmed by all the new products and names and ridiculously large energy drinks I can't stop consuming. It's good fun though, an adventure. Everybody should get lost in a supermarket at least once in their life.

And now a quote from the alcoholic, womanizing, legendary poet Charles Bukowski.

"Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”

You said it boss.

Over and out, for now.