Gold Coast for Dummies....

I got back from the Gold Coast last week, that place is amazing. I've never been to Australia, and it was so cool to hear all those freaky accents (kidding). Kept thinking I was in the cast of Neighbours. Gutted I didn't meet Karl or Susan Kennedy, my childhood heroes. I suppose Australia is quite a big place...


A quick run down of things I achieved in the Gold Coast (in no particular order)

Went to Dreamworld
Went on the best rides at Dreamworld
Went to White Water World
Went on the best slides at White Water World
Went fishing
Caught some fish
Went to wedding
Went fishing in wedding get-up
Caught fish in wedding get-up
Jumped off roof into pool at wedding
Saw a stingray
Saw kangaroos, dingos, lizards, pythons, alligators, crocodiles, and emus
Patted wallabies
Cooked a huge t-bone steak on the 'barbie'
Cooked massive prawns on the 'barbie'
Combined the two and had the best 'barbie' ever
Went to a surf club and ate a bucket of prawns
Bought a 'scooner' of beer (I didn't know what the barman meant, so I just asked for a big one)
Got drunk
Passed out on the couch
Got hungover
Lost 3 pairs of sunglasses
Bought 4th pair of sunglasses
Still have 4th pair of sunglasses
(It was an expensive holiday for sunglasses)
Played mini-golf (or 'Put Put' as the natives call it)
Didn't lose mini-golf (3rd out of 4 aint bad)
Drank alcoholic slush puppies (always been a dream of mine)
Went to the beach
Didn't get eaten by sharks
or snakes
or spiders
Went to Hooters
Spoke to the english girl who worked in Hooters
Wished I didn't speak to english girl because she ruined it for me
Found out english girl went scallop trawling for 3 months
Wondered who her careers advisor was
Bought 70 hooters chicken wings between four of us
Probably didn't even finish half of chicken wings
Ate oysters
Ate more oysters
Went to Pacific Fair
Found out 'Pacific Fair' means "Big SATAN'S ARSEHOLE Mall" in Australian
Went to Draculas cabaret restaurant
Enjoyed the show
Got suitably drunk
Got scared on the ghost train
Got the video of me with my hands over my face shown to the whole crowd at Draculas in the intermission
Rode in a limo with strangers
Went to a strip-club
Went on a flow-rider (at Dreamworld, not the strip-club)
Went on a mono-rail
Took photos on the mono-rail


Most importantly, I feel I made the most of it.


So there you have it, my Gold Coast holiday in a nut shell.

Being back at work sucks the big one, I'll tell you that for free.

I've signed a contract for www.suite101.com and am now writing articles for them, I've only done two so far though, so don't get excited...

Had a bloody good night out at the Monster Bar in Lyttelton the other night. Funky tunes and too much whiskey make ollie a bad boy...certainly paid for it the next day!

Soon.

On Reflection...

Good morning Christchurch, good night Eastbourne, hello world!

After a lethargic start to the morning, I've finally kicked into gear. It only took half of the day to get there...coffee works wonders hmm!?

I woke up feeling unmotivated, tired, lazy and like I wasn't getting anywhere. I soon realised that often all it takes to make you feel like you are getting somewhere is for you to get out of bed. So I got out of bed, and now I'm here, in the kitchen, so I guess I have got somewhere - today at least.

It's sometimes pretty tough to stay happy when all of your friends and family are on the other side of the world. The fact that they all go to sleep as soon as you wake up doesn't make things much easier either. The thing is, if I could, I wouldn't change a damn thing. Being away from loved ones only makes me appreciate them a whole lot more, and when I do get to talk to them, the quality of conversation is so much better. It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone - that is why I'm here after all. It took less than a day after my girlfriend left the UK for me to realise that I couldn't lose her, so off I went to the travel agent and booked myself a ticket over here.

Although I can't be with everyone I love at the same time, I consider myself blessed to have so many incredible people in my life at all.

Eastbourne will always be my home, no matter where I end up. I don't care what anybody says about that town, it's home to some of the most friendly, inspired and beautiful people I've ever met. I think growing up in a town like Eastbourne instills that hunger in you for something more. Sure it has it's problems, but doesn't everywhere? EVERYONE I know from Eastbourne has affected me in some way. My Willingdon boys that I know I'll be with - even when I'm away from them - till the day I die. The Eastbourne skaters that I grew up with and spent every day of every summer (and the seasons inbetween) with from the age of 12 - 18. The Hailsham boys who are some of the funniest, friendliest, loyal and talented guys I've ever met. Anyone from Eastbourne who's started a band, a clothing company, record label, shop or graphic design company. Everyone who I've ever shared a drink with in Blue. Everyone who I've ever sat on the beach with and had a BBQ and a few bottles of beer. Anyone who I've ever been camping with on the downs. Any drunken soul I've ever waited for a cab with (or walked home with) All of the mates I made when I was at Lewes college. Then later, every single person I met at Kingston University. All the writers, poets, messheads, stoners, MC's, musicians and aspiring young journo's - keep up the good work.

If you're reading this then you're included too.

Shit. That coffee made me babble a bit huh. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and look at everything to really appreciate it. The human condition can be a beautiful thing.

My new life in Christchurch is treating me well, so is everyone I've met over here and for that I can't thank any of you enough. The Kiwi's are a friendly bunch, firm handshakes and warm smiles all around - I'll drink to that.

I feel like I needed to get that out of my system...

ANYWAY

Lately I've been working, partying, and hungover-ing. Went to a party on Friday night that was pretty hilarious, not too many people there and the people that were there were on top form. A few dramas, but when is there not?! It all adds to the experience huh...

I'm going on holiday to the Gold Coast tomorrow (Australia) for a week. This promises to be uber-rad. I've never been to Australia, so I'm going to be making the most of it. I'm going to take a tonne of snaps and I'll chuck them all online somewhere when I get back.

The cat just ran in with a lizard hanging out of her mouth...it was fully gross. Little twitching legs and everything...she's gonna need a tic-tac after that one...

I've got work tonight, making coffees was fun to begin with, but now it's a little boring. Oh well, at least 'Barista' sounds better than 'Dish Pig'...although I do find washing dishing all day rather therapeutic...

One DUNCAN ABRAHAM told me on Saturday night that my blogs have been too short and not frequent enough. He said just as he was getting into them I always stopped, and he compared it to pulling out during sex...

Well Duncan...I hope you need a cigarette after this one...

(Sorry Mum)

The Weatherman...

HELLO

New Zealand, why have you forsaken us with this piss-poor weather? I mean...I don't mind when I'm at work, because I get paid the same to work less, but rain on the weekends too? That's just not on...

Funnily enough, the rain makes me feel quite at home. Whilst everyone else moans and goes on about how bad the weather is, I don't really notice until I remember I'm not in England. I've actually missed that fresh rain smell on a lukewarm day, you know the one? Where, before it rained, the air was all hot and sticky-icky-icky and made your face feel like your testicles and your testicles feel like your face...or is that something only I get? Anyway, then the rain comes and leaves its scent, and everything just feels...better.

Flying burrito brothers is my new favourite restaurant. It's a shit-hot Mexican place that serves THE BEST FOOD I'VE EVER TASTED - apart from Mama's cooking, of course. The menu was so big I needed a TomTom to guide me through it. My TomTom was called Tori and she was from Texas, which surprised me, because I thought she was Canadian. My girlfriend said she could imagine her bull-riding. I told her to stop being so filthy.

I'm dead keen on Gavin and Stacey at the moment, borrowed the box set off some friends and haven't stop watching it. Shit James Corden is funny - he wrote it too, with Nessa (Ruth Jones - could her name be more Welsh?) I reckon I could do that stuff...it's just scriptwriting. I wrote a script at Uni once, it was about a guy trying to persuade his friend that ginger people couldn't get pregnant. I would say it was better than it sounds, but it wasn't.

I guess that's it for now. My girlfriend is telling me via facebook chat to get off the internet. She's sitting next to me. Welcome to 2009...not for pregnant or breast feeding women. I wonder if the future will have a height restriction - all those apocalypses, nuclear holocausts and natural disasters will need some kind of censorship that's for sure. This blog just took a nosedive didn't it?

Signing off...

The last couple weeks have been...

Pretty freaking cool. I turned 21 a week ago and had a really cool 4 days off for my birthday - despite me being worried I'd be too homesick to enjoy it.

On the day of my birthday my housemates took me out to this little town called Methven which is pretty much at the foot of Mount Hutt. The town was actually pretty cool, despite being way out in the stick. Got a coffee in this cool cafe that doubled as a junk shop where "everything" was for sale...even the seats you sat on. I flicked through the vinyls to see if I could find any gems but I was nay successful...my mate Charlie is the king of sniffing out hidden treasures. I couldn't believe how many English people were in this place - 2 out of 3 of the chicks that worked there were Brits, and about 4 customers came in whilst we were in there that were also British. Not holiday-makers or travelers either - full-blown, settled-in English people...bizarre.

Snooped around the town a bit and was shocked to find an awesome skatepark somebody had thrown up in some warehouse...the building was so run down but there were kids all over the place tearing around on their boards. New Zealand knows what's up. Town councils in the UK struggle to put decent skateparks in towns 10 times the size of Methven.





Took a couple snaps...cool huh...

After Methven we drove half-way up Mount Hutt, just to have a look. I don't think I could have ever predicted that I'd spend my 21st birthday half-way up a mountain...



Oh yeah - and there was a sh*tload of fresh snow!

Went out in the evening with a few local hoodlums and gave my liver a good bashing...only went to a couple bars, but they were cool bars with good atmospheres. The night started off pretty low-key but one too many jagermeisters later and I found myself confronted with Space Invaders, a vintage vacuum cleaner, and a terrifying old woman in a cupboard...rock and/or roll...

Tuesday...

Is cold!

There's a week-long chill going on at the moment, and by gum is it chilly. The sky and I are both feeling (and looking) pretty blue today...that's a bit of a weird thing to say isn't it?



That's a picture of me and Tim (I know it's supposed to be 'Tim and I' but I think it makes me sound too middle-class if I write it like that, so I'm not going to) taken at the first year of uni. I lived with Tim for two years, and now I'm in New Zealand, and he's in New York. How does the saying go? Out with the old and in with the new? That appears to be the case huh. I spoke to him on Skype the other day which was very weird. I don't think either of us could have predicted this.

Anyway I'm home. Been working all day which was just fantastic. I feel like watching my new Clash DVD, so I think I might. My obsession with The Clash is still in full effect, and my list of Clash records and books I want to get is still growing...bugger!

Not much to report. All is quiet on the Eastern front. Dinner is just around the corner. I gave up smoking and then started again, and now I'm giving up again. All in all I haven't achieved much.

Riddle me this -

I came to New Zealand able to write well enough for at least some low-level writing job, yet I don't have one.

I came to New Zealand not being able to make coffee, but all I do is make coffee all day.

Where's the justice? I'm know I'm not the only one out there.

I have also figured out that coffee is for some people what fashion is for others. This bothers me on a daily basis, roughly between the hours of 9 - 5.


...this blog isn't really going anywhere is it? Too many short sentences and not enough depth, too much crap-talking and not enough specific description about anything in particular. Oh well.

I'll call in again soon, hopefully with more spark behind my words. Just not feeling very electric today. It's the cold I tellsya.

PS.

Dear England,

If I could, I would fly you over here, stick a cap on your head and a camera round your neck, call you a tourist and show you everything New Zealand has to offer. You'd be here a while.

Dear New Zealand,

If I could, I would introduce you to England, sit you both down with a cuppa tea, and get England to talk to you about it's History, it's children, and why it has a hard time staying out of trouble. You'd be there a while.

Fully Wired...

Hello again...it's been a wee while...again...sorry...again!

I haven't been that busy, just lazy. But I've got a new laptop and I'm fully wireless now so I'll be able to get bloggy much easier...also helps having a place to store all my photos so I can easily upload them too...like this one...



That's me and the latest in high-tech exercise equipment, a small child. Sure gets your arms burning after a few throws.

So what's been going on? Not much. Been working in the cafe, which is so much fun I almost have to stop myself from crying with excitement every morning...almost.

Watched the New Zealand 'Fight of the Century' on Saturday night. Two of NZ's top boxers went head to head and the wholllleeeee country was on the edge of their seats, for about two minutes...because that's how long it took for Shane Cameron to hit the mat...ouch. David Tua is a beast. It was a bloody exhilerating two minutes regardless.



Yup.

I'll check in again soon, sooner than this time. I'm going to keep on top of this blog once and for all, hurraaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Snakes on a Plane?

How about Sheep in the Fast Lane!?



Poor little fellas were slipping and sliding all over the place. Only one of them had the sense to sit down. They were pretty up for having their photo taken though, I think they'd had previous run-ins with the paparazzi. I wondered where they were being taken...maybe out for lunch...maybe to be sheared...maybe to be sold...maybe to be killed...who knows. If the latter is true, RIP. Ewe will be greatly missed.

...sorry about that

The cat I live with has recently developed a new hobby which involves the chasing and eating of lizards. I heard some scuffling under the bean-bag the other day and found said kitty trying to claw and jump on a 5 inch lizard. The little fella had had it's legs mangled by the evil killer cat...I had to put him in a cup and chuck him outside. (Note - it was a gentle, and carefully carried out 'chuck') Apparently the next day the kitty was at it again! How do them there lizards taste hmmmm!?



Evil huh...?!