Reception...

Today, I'm a receptionist.

..seriously.

The following took place in an office reception, somewhere in the heart of Christchurch.

I got a one-day slot manning the phones and e-mails at this place in town while all the staff attend a meeting-type thing. I basically just have to hold the fort until 5pm. I have answered the phone two times in as many hours. I have not brought any food with me. I am hungry. I am alone in the wilderness of post-it notes and fax machines, in-trays and office chairs. Well not really alone, there is a woman on the other side of the room, but she's hiding under her office divider thing. Smart move. Maybe she knows something I don't? I am scared. Even the funny forwarded e-mails that keep popping up in outlook are failing to humour me, maybe because I'm not reading them. Who knows?

There is a kettle on the other side of the room that is tempting me with it's promises of coffee and tea, I've learnt not to trust kettles in New Zealand. The dull hum of this computer is the only thing keeping me sane.

ssshhh...the phone's ringing...



It was a windscreen claim...it was terrifying, I don't want to talk about it. There is a little silver bell here that people ding when they need assistance. I need assistance. Should I ding it? Will they come? The more I look at it the more it looks like a nipple. New Zealand, I didn't know you'd treat me this way. I didn't know I'd end up in this place. I wasn't expecting this. The girl on the other side of the room just left. I think she's escaping while she can...clever...I dinged the bell while I could...it went...DING...and now it's gone back to looking like a nipple. The woman is back and talking about the weather. I think it's a trap.

Sorry...I'm just bored. I should really be on seek looking for a job, but no, I'm pretending to be mental on a blog nobody reads in the middle of the day. Hey, at least I'm getting paid for this! Back to normality now huh...

I nearly bought that amazing Clash photo book yesterday but it was a little pricey...I'm definately getting it when I get a job. It's huge and pink and got loads of photos and rare stuff in it. Awesome. New Zealand's looking beautiful today by the way, and the first signs of spring are popping up all over the place...it won't be long before the lambs take over...

Only three hours to go...I'll stop by once I'm on the other side. It's been a pleasure!

PS. Cheers Tim!

Lights and Sounds

This weekend saw a family members 85th birthday and a good old fashioned Sunday afternoon drinking session out in the sticks. Both were nice 'n wholesome. Good kiwi food (developing a soft spot for bacon and egg pie) and a good few bottles of beer always go down a treat on a sunny weekend. The weekend has been pretty chilled out in that respect, no big nights out in the city, no apocalyptic hangovers to speak of...just mellow.

I forgot to mention the awesome pintsize-haka I saw last week at a mall near town...

These school kids came in and performed a whole load of traditional Maori songs and dances, and they were freaking good. Some of those little fellas have a pretty good roar on them. I've never seen anything like that, not in Eastbourne or Kingston anyway. It was all a pretty enriching experience, that's for sure.

I'm a little stoked with the quality of the butchers over here. I went to one today in this little suburb just down the road and picked up two chicken breasts, a big pack of bacon, two pork chops, and three sausages all for 24 bucks. Thats about 9.60 in quids and pennies...insane! Amazing quality too, huge cuts of meat, and no preservatives or any other chemical-warfare bullsh*t either. Top notch.

I'm not feeling very "bloggy" tonight...a little homesick if I'm honest. I wish I could go home for a couple of nights and come back, it's that complete physical detachment that gets me every now and then. Though I know if I were to return to the motherland I would regret it within about fifteen minutes of touching down...not to mention be suffering from a severe case of - as I like to call it - 'Imissmygirlfriendsomuchicanbarelywalkivitis' - ha.

When we drove back from this Sunday session yesterday I discovered if I turned the flash off on my camera it resulted in some pretty cool effects. I'll leave you with a snap and a pearl of wisdom from Oscar Wilde...

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

The Wild West Coast

When I was here in New Zealand in March, my girlfriend and I went on a roadtrip around the south island. After leaving Christchurch and driving through the mountains, we came out on the west coast and drove all the way down. From this picture, taken at Bruce Bay, it's easy to see why they call it the 'wild west coast'...

Bankrobbing...

I really want to find a link so you can all (all five of you) listen to this song called "Crow River" by The Eastern - the band I saw in the pub the other day - but can't find it anywhere. Instead - I'll leave you with this.

Choptober Links...

http://twitter.com/choptobernz

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=87541820599

http://choptober.co.nz/

http://blog.choptober.com


If anybody wants more info e-mail me at ollie@choptober.com

Should be a laugh...everyone get choppy!

Career Opportunities

Yeah...I used a Clash song for the title of another post...I just can't get enough of them at the moment. I think reading that biography has re-ignited my love for them. Been watching a load of interviews with them on youtube (including one with a very young looking yet instantly recognisable Janet Street Porter) Every journo asked them about their politics, about their content, about their beliefs and attitudes - and they always seemed to not have a clue what they were talking about. Being that their songs are so succinct and directed and honest, it seems a bit weird that they always seemed so shy to talk about their beliefs on camera?

In an interview with Tom Snyder in '81, they're playing with a teddy bear and stickers and pulling stupid faces. Snyder keeps having to 'tell them off' almost. Pretty funny. I think they all knew what they were about, but didn't feel it was the media's right to know what they were about, kind of like The Pistols. Mick Jones said in the interview "We don't want to poo poo on the fans" which I think serves as a pretty good example of what I'm trying to get at...simple...stripped down...but with a f*cking good backbone to them. This video speaks for itself really.



Enough about The Clash. There was a crazy storm last night, I don't think I've ever heard rain or wind like that before. It's good though. When the weather kicks up a fuss like that it kind of reminds you you're alive. That you shouldn't take yourself too seriously...because there are forces out there alot more powerful than you.

I've managed to get some unpaid work for The Choptober Foundation. It was conceived by the same Kiwi guys that were behind Movember. Basically...the idea is that everyone grows lambchops (sideburns) in October, and raise money for charities whilst doing it. My role in the crew is to look after and maintain all their websites, blogs, and social networking accounts. I'll also hopefully be doing "press release" kind of stuff...getting them known amongst the media and trying to get them coverage. Cool huh!? I'm pretty stoked about it. Unpaid but damn good experience...that's all I care about...also think I've managed to get myself a job at a coffee shop down the road. Just got back from an interview and the guy said he'd call me in the next few days to let me know when he can fit me in...cashback...I need an income.

I'll be in touch...

Lost In the Supermarket

High spirits are on the menu today. Job prospects haven't really moved on since my last post...still waiting to hear back from a couple places, but I'm hopeful. In the meantime, I may have managed to snag myself some unpaid writing-related type work that, with a bit of luck, might eventually turn into paid writing-related type work. I'm just grateful for any experience I can get at the moment.

I just bought the whole of The Clash's back catalogue for 7 english pounds...bonus. Heard 'Coma Girl' by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros on the radio this morning and it gave me the itch to put my download hat on. I'm gutted beyond words at the death of my laptop. There was so much music on there...

The mountains surrounding Christchurch are looking especially magnificent this morning, like giant jagged marshmallows on the horizon. The sky has responded by vowing not to be outdone by the mountains and has covered us with a vibrant shade of blue that you'll only ever see in New Zealand.

I'm itching to buy a skateboard...I just want to cruuuuise. I miss it. I'm slowly getting the idea that skateboarding over here is seen as 'childish' by alot of adults, but snowboarding is ok? Did I miss something?

I get lost in supermarkets most times I go in them. I never used to in the UK, but here I just can't seem to logically figure out where things are in relation to other things. Which is weird, because most of the time they'll be in a pretty similar place as items in UK supermarkets. I get a littled excited and overwhelmed by all the new products and names and ridiculously large energy drinks I can't stop consuming. It's good fun though, an adventure. Everybody should get lost in a supermarket at least once in their life.

And now a quote from the alcoholic, womanizing, legendary poet Charles Bukowski.

"Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”

You said it boss.

Over and out, for now.

Waking up in Wanaka...

This is what the Kiwi's that live by Lake Wanaka wake up to every morning...I can't say I'm not jealous. That's my mate and I on that rock in the corner when we went there in April...I don't think I've felt that kind of serenity before or since. It's a little different to Eastbourne beach...

Friends...

It's hard leaving people like this behind...but knowing they'll still be the same beautiful people they've always been when I get home, makes being away from them a damn sight easier.

Living for the weekend

Word. The weekend just ended, so here's what happened.

Friday night we went out in the city with my girlfriends sister and her husband (from Brighton - small world yeah?!) It was a pretty relaxed night and the drinks were flowing and the music was playing and the laughs were booming. Went to some cool bars too, most notably this one called 'Fat Eddies'. They had a band that were playing "Message to Rudy" as we walked in, which is always going to put you in a good mood. We went upstairs after getting our drinks and it was all decked out like the kind of room you wished you had when you were a teenager. Sloped attic-like ceilings, tonnes of cool sofas, low lighting, vintage beermats and signs stuck up all over the show, plasma TV's and an awesome birds eye view of the band playing below. 4am came round faster than you can say "wasted" and we stumbled home (in a taxi). My girlfriend suffered from a killer hangover on Saturday that kept her in bed till 7pm...poor little poppet. I had to play nurse all day to my little bed-ridden vegetable, she was suffering alright. I treated myself to a chicken avocado and bacon burger from this place called "Burger Wisconsin" for dinner that honestly makes the best burgers I've ever tasted in my life, and damn good value for money (if you're spending the pound at least).

Sunday happened and so did a charity art auction at my girlfriends work. Kids from different schools made all these cool paintings and they were auctioned off to raise money for Cholmondeley Childrens Home (pronounced Chum-li) - my girlfriend helped organise the whole shabang, clever little sausage!

After the auction we headed to this pub called Pomeroys which I feel may become my watering hole of choice on a Sunday afternoon. My girlfriend's boss came down and we had good food and drank some good local beer and were almost the last people in there by closing. They had live music from a folk-blues group called The Eastern. I highly recommend you look into them if you like your music homecooked, warm, and deliciously soulful. I gave them 20 bucks (just under a tenner) for their CD because they put me in a good mood...but some people just bought them a couple beers in exchange for it. They had a banjo too. Gotta love that banjo. The chick playing it made me wanna take my guitar back and swap it for a banjo. I think I'm definately going to have to learn to play, along with harmonica...yeah. The One Man Blues Explosion...all I need to do is learn how to sing. Their vocalist sounded like he smoked 60-a-day, but I don't think he did. They did an amazing cover of 'Wagon Wheel' by Old Crow Medicine Show, which was one of those incredible moments of live music that you know you were lucky to see. Those little musical gems you know you'll never see again in the same place with the same people soaking up the same atmosphere are what makes live music so electric. I was lucky to be there. There were loads of old guys with beards too. There's something about old guys with beards and leathery faces that make me think they've got a story to tell. I wanted to find out all their stories, but didn't. We played pool and darts and ate nachos and had a good time. All hail the Sunday sessions.

Job prospects - looking up. Handed out more CV's and made some very useful contacts. Didn't hear back about the lifeguard job, no surprises there. Got presented with the oppurtunity to teach sex education to 13 and 14 year old kids too - I regretfully had to decline. I don't know nuffin' 'bout sex.

Been reading "Passion if a fashion" - a biography of The Clash. It's excellent, look into it. I think it may actually be one of only a handful of novel-length books I'll be able to finish before I lose interest and patience. This handful includes the autobiographies of Tony Hawk and Johnny Cash, and Bart Simpsons Guide to Life. I read alot of poetry because poets say more in alot less time and space.

"Even at your worst, you are fucking incredible" - Buddy Wakefield.

See?

Gonna go make some tea and breakfast and listen to that CD I bought yesterday. New Zealand's going well, I like this place.

I'll check in again soon.

The ups and downs of (not) earning an income.

Good morning sportsfans, I'm coming to you live from my little cubby hole in chilly Christchurch. Current status - very hungry. I might have to make some cheese on toast in a minute and possibly a strong cup of tea on the side...that should do it.

The last couple of days have been filled with applying for a host of jobs that, for me, are totally off the scale in their randomness. I've applied to be a lifeguard, a real estate consultant, a marketing coordinator, a chef, a PA to New Zealands no.3 property salesman, a barista, and a self defence consultant. Weird huh? I thought I'd send my CV off in bulk to as many different places as possible to maximise my return. I've heard back from a couple and I had two interviews today (that I'll go into in a minute) and things are looking up...kinda.

The jetlag's still not worn off by the way. I'll wake up fresh as a daisy at 5am every morning and be passed out by about 8pm every night, but I'm working on it. Hopefully it won't affect my employment prospects.

"Suffer from any disabilites Mr. Pelling?"

"zZzZZz"

That wouldn't look very good now would it. I'd have to wear a badge saying "I'm not narcoleptic I'm just having an internal fist-fight with my body clock." Yeah...because people wouldn't think I'm weird.

Anyway. I went for an interview at this marketing agency this morning. I was interviewed by a british guy who seemed to take a shine to me, I'm going back there later to shadow him as he tries to get businesses to part with their money and give it to Barnados (the charity). Tough break. I don't know if I'll be up to the job, in fact I think I'd be the worst door to door salesman ever, even if it was for charity. Another issue I have with this job is how much I hate people knocking on my door and asking for my money, being that guy wouldn't be cool. But I thought I'd give it a chance anyway, which is why I agreed to go back.

The second interview I had was to be a "self defence consultant" which sounds a lot cooler than it is. The long and short of it is that I'd be working with a team for this big karate business, going round peoples houses and asking if they want to join up. My income would be based on how many new members I managed to get signed up. I reckon I'd rather try and sell karate to people than Barnados, and I think I'd be better at it too, but I'd probably still be pretty crap at it. My pitch would go like this...

"Hi. Would you or your kids be interested in karate?"

"Not really."

"Would you say you're over 70% against taking up karate lessons?"

"Yes."

"Sweet. In a bit then."

Smooth. A plus side of this job is that I get to do an accelerated karate course which means I'll be a black belt in two years instead of four. I can't say that being a black belt has always been a dream of mine but I'm sure it'd get me some cool points...or "street cred"...no?

Either way I need to get a job soon. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself, I've only been here a week after all. It's just that I have this little list of home comforts I want to buy for myself. I've already ticked off the acoustic guitar...I got a little beauty from a music shop in town the other day for a pretty good price. I also need a car and a skateboard, but I need a job before I can really afford to splash out on these luxuries. I don't like spending when my income is zero, naturally. Oh yeah, and my laptop died on me the day after I got here. I don't know if it's homesick or what but it's at the doctors at the moment so hopefully she'll get a pulse back soon. She better do...she wasn't insured and there's alot of precious stuff on there. Most notably my pornography collection that is so vast I could probably start my own porno DVD stand in the high street. That was a joke. So yeah, I'd rather not have to buy a new laptop unless I really need too, although those little netbooks look pretty sweet. I think I'd look pretty funny using one though, I'm 6 foot 5 and I reckon because the netbooks are so small, it'd make me look
HUGE(ER).

I'm also going to start playing ice hockey. I've never played before but I've always wanted to. I sent some emails about getting information on where I can train etc, so that could be fun. I've always wanted to play but other than skating round an ice rink in Brighton that was no bigger than my bedroom I haven't had much experience. I reckon I'll be a natural though. Then again I have said that about alot of things...

Anyway, my hands are freezing and my stomach's churning, so I better go annilhate a few pieces of cheese on toast. I'll put some pictures and stuff on here in the near future...keep you updated visually as well as...verbally...perhaps...sweet, in a bit then!

Touchdown

Hello. My name's ollie (I don't cap up the O because I think it makes my name look clumsy) I'm 20-years-young and I'm a long way from home. I was half way through a Journalism and Creative Writing degree in London and beginning to think my life was too perfectly ordinary to handle, when cupid lined me up and shot me down. He did a good job too. She was beautiful, she still is and she's still mine. It hasn't exactly been easy for us though, no no. The difficulty came when my fair lady had to return home to New Zealand after the marvellous people at the home office made it very hard for her to stay in the country. So, 9 months, an uncountable amount of expensive phone calls, a few hundred tears, many lonely nights and plane ticket that cost three times the price of my car (though it was a cheap car) has led me here - blogging from New Zealand while my girlfriend's hard at work.

I've just about fought off my jetlag, although I do keep waking up at 4am every morning with a violent bout of need-a-piss urgency, but hopefully it'll pass. I've sorted out my bank account with the lovely people at the bank who all wear t-shirts and smile and don't look like they're about to try and con me, I've sorted out my phone, now all I've got to do is sort out my job.

I've spent all day sifting through jobs on the internet and found a few that will probably be alright. I'm just going to get whatever I can to begin with till the Robert DeNiro starts rolling in...I've awkwardly typed, re-typed, re-re-typed, binned, and re-typed my CV a few times and I'm about the head into Christchurch city centre (on the south island) to dish it out...wish me luck...

I'll keep adding to this little blog of mine...and I'll fill you in on more details and occurences and whatever else I feel like putting in here as time goes by...but yeah...I'll keep you posted...