The ups and downs of (not) earning an income.

Good morning sportsfans, I'm coming to you live from my little cubby hole in chilly Christchurch. Current status - very hungry. I might have to make some cheese on toast in a minute and possibly a strong cup of tea on the side...that should do it.

The last couple of days have been filled with applying for a host of jobs that, for me, are totally off the scale in their randomness. I've applied to be a lifeguard, a real estate consultant, a marketing coordinator, a chef, a PA to New Zealands no.3 property salesman, a barista, and a self defence consultant. Weird huh? I thought I'd send my CV off in bulk to as many different places as possible to maximise my return. I've heard back from a couple and I had two interviews today (that I'll go into in a minute) and things are looking up...kinda.

The jetlag's still not worn off by the way. I'll wake up fresh as a daisy at 5am every morning and be passed out by about 8pm every night, but I'm working on it. Hopefully it won't affect my employment prospects.

"Suffer from any disabilites Mr. Pelling?"

"zZzZZz"

That wouldn't look very good now would it. I'd have to wear a badge saying "I'm not narcoleptic I'm just having an internal fist-fight with my body clock." Yeah...because people wouldn't think I'm weird.

Anyway. I went for an interview at this marketing agency this morning. I was interviewed by a british guy who seemed to take a shine to me, I'm going back there later to shadow him as he tries to get businesses to part with their money and give it to Barnados (the charity). Tough break. I don't know if I'll be up to the job, in fact I think I'd be the worst door to door salesman ever, even if it was for charity. Another issue I have with this job is how much I hate people knocking on my door and asking for my money, being that guy wouldn't be cool. But I thought I'd give it a chance anyway, which is why I agreed to go back.

The second interview I had was to be a "self defence consultant" which sounds a lot cooler than it is. The long and short of it is that I'd be working with a team for this big karate business, going round peoples houses and asking if they want to join up. My income would be based on how many new members I managed to get signed up. I reckon I'd rather try and sell karate to people than Barnados, and I think I'd be better at it too, but I'd probably still be pretty crap at it. My pitch would go like this...

"Hi. Would you or your kids be interested in karate?"

"Not really."

"Would you say you're over 70% against taking up karate lessons?"

"Yes."

"Sweet. In a bit then."

Smooth. A plus side of this job is that I get to do an accelerated karate course which means I'll be a black belt in two years instead of four. I can't say that being a black belt has always been a dream of mine but I'm sure it'd get me some cool points...or "street cred"...no?

Either way I need to get a job soon. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself, I've only been here a week after all. It's just that I have this little list of home comforts I want to buy for myself. I've already ticked off the acoustic guitar...I got a little beauty from a music shop in town the other day for a pretty good price. I also need a car and a skateboard, but I need a job before I can really afford to splash out on these luxuries. I don't like spending when my income is zero, naturally. Oh yeah, and my laptop died on me the day after I got here. I don't know if it's homesick or what but it's at the doctors at the moment so hopefully she'll get a pulse back soon. She better do...she wasn't insured and there's alot of precious stuff on there. Most notably my pornography collection that is so vast I could probably start my own porno DVD stand in the high street. That was a joke. So yeah, I'd rather not have to buy a new laptop unless I really need too, although those little netbooks look pretty sweet. I think I'd look pretty funny using one though, I'm 6 foot 5 and I reckon because the netbooks are so small, it'd make me look
HUGE(ER).

I'm also going to start playing ice hockey. I've never played before but I've always wanted to. I sent some emails about getting information on where I can train etc, so that could be fun. I've always wanted to play but other than skating round an ice rink in Brighton that was no bigger than my bedroom I haven't had much experience. I reckon I'll be a natural though. Then again I have said that about alot of things...

Anyway, my hands are freezing and my stomach's churning, so I better go annilhate a few pieces of cheese on toast. I'll put some pictures and stuff on here in the near future...keep you updated visually as well as...verbally...perhaps...sweet, in a bit then!